Making their debut decades ago, their damage has lasted through the years…

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory has been adored by families for decades. With its original storytelling and colorful characters, people have fallen in love and never forgotten it. But as remarkable as the movie is, there is one glaring flaw — the Oompa Loompas.

 

My issue with the Oompa Loompas concerns their work as musicians. Simply put, the Oompa Loompas have very little musical variety and ZERO range as artists.

 

Oompa Loompa Songs from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971)

Technically, you’ll hear a couple different songs in the movie, but do you actually remember the difference between any of them? Popular works such as “Oompa Loompa (Augustus),” “Oompa Loompa (Violet),” “Oompa Loompa (Veruca),” and “Oompa Loompa (Mike)” all follow the same format¹. They repeat the same chorus over and over, and fans just don’t seem to care.

Why is it that the Oompa Loompas have blossomed as America’s favorite boy band while *NSYNC has fallen from grace? Why has the lead Oompa Loompa glided from his golden parachute while Lance Bass has had to go on The View? Does America care about anything? “Bye Bye Bye” is a smash hit from *NSYNC. “Bye, bye, bye” is what I want to say to the Oompa Loompa’s and their place in history.

Fortunately, the Billboard 200 has shown evidence that our culture hasn’t completely decayed. You’ll notice that The Beatles’ Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band has topped the list again. The Beatles have released dozens of original songs and albums, selling millions of records over the years. All this success, even after weathering the damage caused by Yoko Ono:

Yoko Ono Screaming at Art Show!

Much like how Yoko Ono has ridden the coattails of John and The Beatles, the Oompa Loompas have profited off of the performance of the legendary Gene Wilder.

While some have been willing to call out Yoko on her lies, no one has called out the Loompas. No one, that is, until me.

There has even been talk of signing the Oompa Loompas to Ca$h Money Records. If that is the case, then I hope the record companies lose more control of the music industry than they already have.

So, I ask you this: Support quality. Support *NSYNC. Avoid Yoko and anything Oompa — avoid the decay of culture.

The choice is simple. Thank you for letting me guide you in this tough time.